her blemishes framed;

Sunday, November 30, 2003

harhar.
this is so out of point but.
do you think in heaven, we're all clothed?
or do we go naked.
maybe we just end up wearing what we wore when we were last burried.
this struck me after my sister yecked that she wanted to be burried or burnt with all her clothes.
the branded ones.
lols.
i'm gonna miss my big sister.
she's going into the hostel for some chinese camp at nus.
and it's gonna last a friggin' one month or so.
and the worst thing of it all is that she's taking all her clothes with her.
i'm gonna be looking shabby this whole month.
lols.
sundays are just so boring.
for me, it ends up like reflection day.
it's the time when i turn back to my past week and see what've misssed out or regretted though it should be greatly forgotten.
it gets so lazy that your mind flutters off somewhere.
and it fluttered so far that i've kinda got my plans on for this week.
bhavs' coming back from new york on the 21st.
i'm so excited.
sure there'll be gifts for me.
lols?
and that date is not long from here.
one month has gone by just so quickly.
soon, school will just reopen and it'll seem like back to the old days again.
morning blues.
hatey watey uniform and all the aweful travelling.
worst, the teaching and the boredom will lash in.
urh.
and then that utmost worst feeling will come.
studying for my n's.
i reckon it's gonna be a bumpy year.
anyways.
gonna end of my entry with some survey.
lols.
ta!

basics
Name::	it's rather long. clara dominique alexia chai shu wei. lols.
Nickname::	claire. for short.
Location::	westside.
Gender::	a girl and i'm proud of it.
Birthplace::	nuh.
Birthstone::	sapphire i think.
Birthday::	twenty eight september. glorious.
Sign::	libra.
Righty or Lefty::	i'm a righty.
Screenname::	ghettocow.
your looks
Height::	one six seven.
Weight::	secretised*.
Shoe size::	a thirty nine or so. biggy.
Hair Color::	dyed to black from brown.
Hair Length::	shoulder length soons.
Eye Color::	brownbrownbrown.
Size::	an eight or a ten.
Glasses::	carrots have made my perfect in eyesight.
Braces::	nahuh. needing though.
Piercings::	two on the right ear and one on the left ear. had a nose piercing but closed off. one on the belly.
Tattoos::	a pathetic star on my right hip. gonna get it more done up soons. cash is important.
fashion
Where do you shop::	anywhere withh clothes of my taste. mango. zara. topshop. miss selfridge. dorothy perkins. roxy. m)phosis. far east. esprit.warehouse.
What do you usually wear::	depending on where i'm headed.
What kind of shoes do you wear::	either my oxy black slips or my zara white shoe.
Do you wear a watch::	not exactly. depending on my mood :)
Color you never wear::	i won't state that but i WEAR blacks and reds and pinks and whites and earthy colours.
Color you wear at least once a week::	pink.
Something you wear everyday::	black. it's my all time.
Do you wear make up everyday::	depending if i'm headed out or nots.
Make up essential::	blush. mascara. eyeliner. concealer.
Most cherished piece of clothing::	my levi's jeans. it's the pretttiest.
You wouldn't be caught dead wearing::	lingerie alone out.
Do you wear belts::	with my jeans.
Do you wear hats::	not exactly.
How many pairs of shoes do you have::	haven't counted.
music
Favorite kind of music::	rnb. soothy sappy songs.
Least Favorite::	linkin park songs.
How many CD's do you have::	they're all packed up in my dusty box. not counted.
Last CD you bought::	can't remember boy.
Whats in your CD player right now::	i don't have a cd player ever since. my broke down.
Do you download music::	of course :) who doesn't.
Favorites
Color::	pink and black and white and brown.
Number::	twenty eight. it's my birthday :)
Season::	it's only summery here.
Ice cream::	cherry garcia. nutella. belgian choc. rumnraisin.
Website::	my friendster account*.
Quote::	not any apparent one nows.
Store::	warehouse.
Band::	no boy bands.
Singer::	christina aguilera for her 'voice within' song.
Rapper::	pharrel. he's just so cute.
Group::	atomic kittens not bad.
Song::	got tons :)
Movie::	hmmms. i just like frrreakkyy movies.
Actor::	jason momoa. urhh. swweet looking.
Actress::	anyone would do.
Kind of movies::	freaakkkkyy movies. horrrrrrorr.
Place to be::	in my roooom. or in someones arms. too cosy.
Time of day::	pass midnight.
Clothing Brand::	i've got lots. go read back.
Animal::	my latie hamster peanut and ying and yang.
Food::	pepperyy steak from singapore cricket club.
Holiday::	christmas. it's extra longg and the feeling is justt so high.
Shape::	heart?.
Restaraunt::	marche's good.
Fast food place::	long johns.
Boy's name::	justin.
Girl's name::	meaghan.
Word::	doink!*
Month::	september and december. yums.
Candy::	lakerols.
love and relationships
Sexual Preference::	straightstraightstraight.
Boyfriend or Girlfriend::	boyfriend.
Crush::	no one nows.
Do you believe in love at first sight::	why not?
What do you look for in a guy/girl::	nothing exact. you'd know it when you're really into that person. the feeling of butterflies inside.
Best physical feature::	eyes.
Best hair color::	brown or black.
Best eye color::	brown or greyy or green.
randoms
Do you paint your nails::	every week. lols.
What color is your tooth brush::	hot pink. yays.
What's on your desktop::	a picture of me turned into pink and black. narcissist.
Do you like roller coasters::	love em'. the thrills.
Do you do drugs::	drugs so don't apply to me.
Are you a virgin::	believe in it until marriage. lols.
Do you have any pets::	three doggies and twwo baby hams.
What time do you go to sleep::	late. real late. past three in the morning. lols. nocturnal.

Basic Survey [ 87 questions] brought to you by BZOINK!

9:36:00 PM

her point of view;

i'm all tied up.
feel so stucked down.
moody and just moody.
was pacing round the house earlier back.
in a total panic.
my baby hamster is so naughty.
she just won't let the other have a run on the wheel.
and rather, the other gets hurt.
my hamsters' currently in marathon.
and trust me, she's fast.
and furious.
got my nails painted a silver glaze.
with glitter only on the top edge.
frisky huhs.
the hollies are killing me down with boredom.
painting nails has turned into a daily routine.
i just can't figure out what's the next 'happening' thing thats gonna occur.
got december all planned out already with my 'japanese-american' friend.
he's totally in for national service.
midst of december.
so gonna spend some last minutes with him at the bird park, escape theme, zoo and just so many more explory places.
since he can't get an exit pass to go elsewhere.
poor fella'.
i'll miss him sooo much.
miss the times just snatching gum from him at his workplace.
or just those hourly smoke breaks at the fire exits.
or just simply can't getting enough of his speaking.
it's just so hilarious that he can laugh at himself
smashing sweet guy he is.
adore him to bits
har*.
gonna takee a napster nows.
laters.

2:20:00 AM

her point of view;

Saturday, November 29, 2003

there is just one word to describe me right nows.
that would be a really strong word.
exhausted.
had a really longgggg night.
bunked in at the mandarin in town with the girls and their hubbies or at least there were a few singles.
it was the dinner and dance event that they had to attend.
mummy's clique did the make up for em'.
turned out real beauties.
yeah beauty queens are on their way.
it's amazing how makeup works so well and does miracles.
they left after all was done.
so it was me myself and i in the room just enjoying and relaxation was just on my mind.
laid on the bed watching a few 'good' shows.
not to forget, i felt like a true blue princess.
i had ordered myself a beefy spahgetti for room service.
rina felt really bored at her other side so she decided to come over.
ate the delicious meal together and watched some shows on the telly.
the channels just stink.
but we later settled down to watching the 'sleeping with the enemy' program.
not bad.
gave us the shivers at times.
so moving on later in the evening,
the girls came back looking so flushed and tired.
but some were still up for night time party.
me, vij, bilin, viviane and andrew went on the hunt for food.
so swensens it was.
we had the most appetizing meal and decided to go back up and play some taitee.
i'm getting better by the minute.
harhar*.
on the way back, we caught sight of an accident.
gees.
all these daring bengs driving their modified honda's and mitsubishi's.
pretty much a bad crash.
in town of all places.
everyone just stayed there.
eyes laid on the car and the scene was just glary.
it was badly smashed and fuel was just leaking all over.
you could smell it from miles away.
even the air freshener had flew out.
you know those kind that stick onto the aircon vans.
it clipped off and flew out the window of the car.
i knew it cos i accidentally stepped on it.
harhar*.
so after the scene cleared off abit, we decided to head back to the room for an enticing game of taitee.
unfortunately.
we had forgotten about the key.
not exactly our mistake.
we'd given it up earlier to bryan who went back up to see debbie.
and he had falled asleep so we couldn't even get up to the room at all.
yes, the lift required a key that you had to put in, in order to press the level you wanted to go to.
so we just went in with a couple of russians.
pretty friendly people.
but looked tipsy and were looking naughty.
so we just followed them up all the way to their level and with our intellectual minds, we decided to take the fire escape down back to our level.
all settled.
ended up playing taitee the whole night till we finally lazed off.
harhar*.
just feel so tired now and so eager to get into my bed.
so thou shall commit to that.
ta!*

4:31:00 PM

her point of view;

Friday, November 28, 2003

just can't stop moaning over the death of my little one.
it's like the last goodbye.
still can feel her in my palms as i cried my life away.
dripping all over her tiny, motionless body.
i can't imagine myself accepting the death of a loved one.
loved one being a human.
couldn't even take and accept the death of my pet.
as it is, i haven't had any family deaths since.
my grandpa died a long while back.
prolly when i was in nursery.
that made me very ignorant of whatever was around me.
anything that happened didn't affect me.
it just wasn't the right time to think about it.
bah.
the urge of digging my hamster out of that soil just makes me feel so frustrated.
just wishing she'd still run on her wheel everynight.
gees.
guess accepting it now is the biggest thing for me to do.
anyways.
i'm so darn glad that firestone bachelor got christen out of the whole GAME.
firstly, i don't accept this kinda trash they show on telly.
just to kill time and boredom, i watch it and cheer on the pretty sweet girls.
if he was so good looking, had a great background and was so wanted, why hasn't he found himself his own girl.
why go for these made up gameshows to get himself a WIFE?
not saying it's a one day date.
if it were, i'd understand.
but this is marriage.
a life long committment.
afterall, jen was a good choice anyhow.
glad she got it.
applause*.
so tmr is gonna be a pretty long day.
urh.
need to get some beauty sleep nows.
ta my loved ones :)

for my sweet-precious.
when i first saw you i already knew
there was something inside of you
something i thought that i would never find
angel of mine

i looked at you, lookin' at me
now i know why they say the best things are free
i'm gonna love you
angel of mine

how you changed my world you'll never know
i'm different now, you helped me grow
you came into my life sent from above
when i lost all hope you showed me love
i'm checkin' for ya
you're right on time
angel of mine

nothing means more to me than what we share
no one in this whole world can ever compare
last night the way you moved is still on my mind
angel of mine

what you mean to me you'll never know
deep inside i need to show
you came into my life sent from above
when i lost all hope, you showed me love
i'm checkin' for ya
angel of mine

i never knew i could feel each moment
as if it were new,
every breath that take,
i only share it with you
when i first saw you i already knew
there was something inside of you
something i thought that i would never find
angel of mine

you came into my life sent from above
when i lost all hope you showed me love
i'm shakin' for ya, boy you're right on time
angel of mine

how you changed my world you'll never know
i'm different now, you helped me grow

i look at you lookin' at me
now I know why they say the best things are free
i'm checkin' for ya
angel of mine

stay* my angel.

12:10:00 AM

her point of view;

Thursday, November 27, 2003

argh.
this is now the worst day of my life ever.
you could say worst worst and worst.
my all time favourite hamster passed on.
due to her long life.
and it really hit me.
i feel so irresponsible.
i promised myself to take her to the doctors' and get her some medication so that there would be a sparky sign that she'll get better.
but becos' i had something else to do, i missed out on her's and just got on with what i had to do.
which now i feel is not as important.
so it was the wee hours in the morning.
being too weak and unable to feed herself, i had to take on the responsibility of doing it.
got her on my bed and i slowly fed her till she got tired.
after awhile, got her back into the cage where she moved around a bit and as i watched, she just laid there motionless.
it looked painful.
as she finally took her last few breathes and there her life was gone.
so quick it was and i felt so humiliated.
cried for a long period of time.
she was my all time favourite and she totally belonged to me.
my precious was gone.
mum, sis and i went down in the dark and buried all under.
just felt the pain as i did it.
couldn't bear to see the cage empty.
it felt so lonely.
i'll have to forget this.
so today mum bought me two hamsters to replace.
though replacing it will never change anything.
no one could ever replace my precious.
nothing ever.
but i'm quite contented that i have these two little squirmees nows.
they're just so adorable.
and they're the exact same colour as my oldie.
putting so much life into my cage nows.
lols :)

nothing can ever replace my precious*. nothing. just loving her and i'll always remember her for life. get on.

4:21:00 PM

her point of view;

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

dees.
if you're reading this, there was a slight misunderstanding during our little sweet conversation on msn just back.
i must have overclicked on the audio i was gonna send you.
so you kinda rejected the download becos' you said you had it.
it was meant to be this song that my sisters' friend had sang and recorded for this girl coincidentally named dianna.
it had your name in the song.
and it was really sweet.
but due to my quick moving fingers, i must have sent the wrong one.
entitled anything but ordinary.
so i kinda didn't realise i misdid it.
so much so that i said it was so much like you.
nah-ah.
that's where the error is.
i meant that dianna song was just so you.
harhar.
while i'm leaving this message here for you, i'm just missing you dearly.
smuacks.

todays plans were plain boring.
shruggs*.
had woken up at a late time again.
i guess i'm never gonna kick my habit of waking up and sleeping at late times.
i'm missing lunch nowadays becos' of over sleeping.
kills me.
stayed home the whole day staring at the computer screen and the telly.
think i'm gonna get my feet off my home and start wrecking town.
haven't stepped in there for five days.
five days that would be, in a row.
got some last minute shopping to do.
serious shopping this time.
i'm in search for a plain pretty top.
preferably black or a dark colour or maybe one of those bright pinks.
getting outta point.
back to where i was, my sister and i decided to go catch a movie at tiong bahru.
being near and stuff, it was just convienient.
wishing stairs was what we watched.
don't you think the korean language is just so gorgeous.
well i do.
it wasn't a really pretty scary show.
just that the images of the girls was quite disturbing and yet again the lesbianism in it was just simply plain.
which is good.
wasn't asking for anything to exposey.
harhar*.
so i got back home late, had my wonderous warm bath and claned up my hamster.
tadah.
after such a long time.
i'm just an evil owner.
alrights.
enough.
getting abit late and i'm pretty smashed.
nights.

christmas is gonna be so exciting!

2:16:00 AM

her point of view;

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

my last would be this.
made simple and clear.
i hope you have your wet suit on because your skating on thin ice, my dear.
'trust' is like a shattered mirror and no matter how diligently you try to put it back together, some shards will go missing, cracks will be evident and this whole time's reflection will forever be altered as a result.
so it's not just me on the lookout.
but trust me.
it's a crowd.

so my whole life's clock is going haywire.
i'm sleeping at odd times and waking and the wrong times.
very soon, it'll be getting at a habit and it'll be hard to break.
sleeping at four am in the morning is way to berserk.
and waking up at three in the afternoon is an honest boo boo.
beeen getting rough nights.
so much so that sleeping is not a necessity for me anymore.
i could just stay awake the whole day and not get a second's rest.
i'm gonna collect eye bags soon.
harhar.
and i'm feeling the rotten butterflies coming.
not the feeling of a ruined love feeling but the feelings of stomach cramps.
my ovaries are having a private party and it's just a 24-hour
thing.
very soon i'll be addicted to evening primrose oil pills.
and hey if you don't know what that does, you must be a silly goat.
it's like this pill that helps all sorts.
it's for pms-y people.
harhar :)
it's only a monday.
and it seems like it's taking ages to reach friday.
planned out my fridays doings already.
hopefully it turns out the way i wished it to be.
crossing my finger that nothing gets backed out.
cos' if it did, it'll be all ruined.
nonetheless, i still think it'll be great.
just gotta wait and see.
so now i'm off to forcing myself to get to bed.
not gonna make my late nights a habit.
smuacks.

1:09:00 AM

her point of view;

Monday, November 24, 2003

confined it was.
i felt constrained by the myriad responsibilities and many obligations required to keep the union evolving and rewarding.
and it only was human to think back on what seemed like the carefree days when i only had myself to worry about and wonder if the grass was really greener on the single side of the fence.
i guess what i dealt with was far too way outta hand
the one i dealt with here is that rampant beast called the male ego and as everyone knows a beast is most dangerous when wounded.
but i'm sorry.
that's life.
so face it.
and so it also wasn't really about cheating that we're talking about here.
instead something you did - perhaps repeatedly -
irritated me to such an extent that one day i exploded and told you to make your story packing.
and you're little crime fitted perfectly to the punishment dished out.
but guess being the little petty one and childish one you are, it so happened that you felt i needed it too.
so much so that you did accomplish it.
i'm proud of you so much.
gee.
wondering when you're gonna wake up.
you can't always have the cake to yourself.
enough said.

4:12:00 AM

her point of view;

geee.
you just make me sick.
the more i think of you and the more you come crreeping at me, it irks me even more.
you get kicks outta that and you think you're earning yourself something.
well let me say what fun you're having outta it.
cheap thrill*.
those two words speak highly of you.
all you seem to do is lie to yourself so much.
can't you stop hiding from it all and just face up to it.
urgh.
well enough of you.
enough enough enough.
irks me so god damn much.
puky feelings*.
to think i actually had it for your friendship deal.
boy, was i vulnerable.
not so much that i fell for it, but you make yourself seem so untrustworthy, bastard-like and so much more that is just unexplainable.
count me out of all your frauds.
and you got the wrong people to play in.
get a freakin' life w'd ya.
it's over.
nights.

get this right on your face.
fuck*.

fall back
take a look at me and you'll see
i'm for real
i'll feel what only i can feel
and if that don't appeal to you let me know
and i'll go 'cause i flow better when my colors show
and that's the way it has to be honestly
'cause creativity could never bloom in my room
i'd throw it all away before i'd lie so don't call me with a compromise
hang up the phone i got a back bone stronger than yours

if you trying to turn me into someone else it's easy to see
i'm not down with that i'm not nobodys' fool
if you trying to turn me into something else
i've seen it enough and i'm over that
i'm not nobody's fool

if you wanna bring me down
go ahead and try

don't know you think you know me like yourself
but i fear that you're only telling me what i wanna hear
do you give a damn understand that i
can't not be what i am
i'm not the milk and cheerios in your spoon it's not that
simple
here we go not so soon
i might have fallen for that when i was 14 and a little more green
but it's amazing what a couple of years can mean

go ahead and try
try to look me in the eye
but you'll never see inside
untill you realise

things are trying to settle down
just trying to figure out
exactly what i'm about
if it's with or without you
i don't need your doubt in me

1:18:00 AM

her point of view;

Sunday, November 23, 2003

*shruggs.
been so long since i blogged.
couldn't rant out the hell i've been through since i last blogged.
so it turned out that my html's in my template were all getting messy.
which made me need to revamp the whole thing.
it finally shows.
harhar*.
i haven't gotten sleep for likee quite awhile.
clubbed at sos' on friday night.
tired me out.
the company was just right and so was the crowd and the music was just cheeky.
coincidentally, had total eye contact with sher and ali.
i mean it wasn't surprising to see em' there.
but i just felt kinda cheery that night that made me feeel sociable.
:) so we partied all night long just sweating out in the rnb room.
the heat could equal out to a sauna.
it was wholly packed in there.
people were just squeeshing in and out and you could just smell the aweful stench of guys in the area.
alright.
major turn off aye.
enough off that.
closing time so we leftt the square and got into a cab and made our way back to bilin's.
had a tiny bit of sleep after much of vijays made up jokes.
nonetheless i had loadsa fun.
and now i'm just cooped up with a little few misunderstandings between me and darts.
gonna clear the air sometime soon.
totally tired out.
nights.

everina: hey girl. ditching me for an island huhs. so batam is cooler aye? harhar. wells. come homee soon alrights. will be missing you and your nonsense. but happy hari raya and guess what. no more fasting for you huns.
afterall, you didn't fast much. total sinner muslim. i'm the background girl who caused it all. smirks*.

darts: so yupps. we aren't an item. it's been far over due to misunderstandings and the flaws we had. moreover, you and i asked for a simple friendship. nothing more and nothing less. there were side feelings though i never meant it to become anything more. yupps so you went drinking tonight. your friend rang me up telling me you had gone far overboard. being CARING, i rang you up to see how you were doing and to straighten things out before things became more wrecked.
i tried to tell you to limit your drinking. whether you listened or not, that was a far different thing. i meant well.
but you took it the other angle. saying things that hurt me. and it was so obvious that you were sober and just all tipsy. you said things and then two minutes later, you'd go blank on what you said. and being the petty little self you were, when i refuse to name the person who called me up to tell me, you DIRECTLY threatened to beat up my friend. a friend whom you wrongly accused that i was going out with. which part of ' being friends' do you not get? what kinda childish, immature act is that? it's nothing more than just plain CHILDISHNESS. i'm far over this. i'm at the EDGE. and sorry to say, this time i've wronged nothing. seen it for myself and i've just left to judging it. hope you'll go think of what you said to me.
i'm forgiving. i can forgive and put this incident aside but i won't forget the exact words you hurled at me. the things you blamed me for and the accusations you made. irks me.

3:48:00 AM

her point of view;

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

been thinking and heres what i found.
quoted.

i can't remember the last time that we kissed goodbye
all our "i love you's" were just not enough to survive
something your eyes never told me
but it's only now too plain to see
brilliant disguise when you hold me
and i'm free
i've been thinking and here's what i've come to conclude
aometimes the distance is more than two people can use
but how could i have known girl
it was time and not space you would need
darling tonight i could hold you and you would know
but would you believe
there's a light in your eyes that i used to see
there's a place in your heart where i used to be
was i wrong to assume that you were waiting for me
there's a light in your eyes
did you leave that light burning for me
cards and phone calls and photograph pictures of you
constant reminder of all the things you get used to
is there a chance in hell or heaven
that there's still something here to build on
or do you just pick up the pieces after they fall
but after all
there's a light in your eyes that i used to see
and a song in the words that you spoke to me
was i wrong to believe in your melody
there's a light in your eyes
did you leave that light burning for me
should i keep on waiting or does love keep on fading away
fading away
it's been a while since i've seen you so how have you been
did you get my letter i wrote you, but i did not send
i tried to call your old number
but the voice that i heard on the phone
i recognized but she told me the number was wrong
there's a light in my eyes but it's too bright to see
and a pain in my heart where you used to be
guess i was wrong to assume that you were waiting here for me
there's a light in your eyes
did you leave that light burning for me

4:10:00 PM

her point of view;

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

did you see the shiny moon?
turned into a black balloon.
just as you walked away from me.

did you see how hard I've tried?
not to show the pain inside.
just as you walked away from me.

who painted the moon black?
just when you passed your love back.
who painted the moon black?
oh won't you, won't you come back?

it must have been the darkest night.
not even a star in sight.
just as you walked away from me, now.

who painted the moon black?
just when you passed your love back.
who painted the moon black?
oh won't you, won't you come back?

10:54:00 PM

her point of view;

yayyers.
got two things done today.
got my wonder nails painted a cranberry colour.
it's so pretty.
if you're wondering what kinda shade it is, it's like a hot pink mixed with purple.
like a fusion thing.
hmms.
guess my painting skills are getting pretty muchh neater and better.
just so proud of myself.
so i was getting bored of my brown hair after my nail painting session.
it needed some colour.
and i kinda miss my long tresses.
with long hair, you could do so much.
so much so that i miss fiddeling around with my hair.
now it's all just there.
finally decided on highlighting it.
it's a ashy light brown but you can't see much of it's colour.
though in broad day light, i kinda look muddy.
hehs :)
after i got my hair all settled, i headed down to queensway to meet mirdat.
afterall, i did my hair at the mall just opposite.
so since it was convienient enough, thought i'd go over to meet him.
he is so corny i tell you.
lols.
i totally didn't know a hairband could be called a scarf.
perhaps to mirdat himself.
but nevermind the speech errors, he kept boasting about how he scores for english in exams.
if the person least can't speak well, how do they write.
wonders*.
alright.
i'll stop being mean.
i ain't perfect too right cow.
i'm justt another idiot, like you, who has countless flawws.
lols ").
alrights.
i'm off.

1:25:00 AM

her point of view;

Monday, November 17, 2003

i'm starting to hate my dad so much.
the hatred i had for himm before was already bad but it's his business that he wants me to make my hatred for him even worse.
the sight of him now just irks me.
i'm just gonna lock myself up in my room till dawn arrives.
sheesh balls.
i mean you already get the idea of a nagging mummy but could you imagine a naggy daddy?
nah uh.
usually the dad gives the looks while the mummy voices out her nonsense.
mine's just the total opposite.
so i am happy.
i tend to laugh the whole damn day.
but isn't good to see me happy then be all frowny like i'm suffering from some god damn depression.
to my parents, being happy is just way too out.
so my daddy had a pep talk with me just nows.
all about what?
all about me laughing my life away today.
like i'm some kinda happy go lucky twirt.
said stuff like i couldn't be serious at important things and that i just laugh them away.
it's not say it's the time of my life now that needs to be so god damn serious.
and for pete's sake, it's the vacation.
i guess it means a time of rest and recreation.
not a time to get all frowny and serious.
and then he goes on and on and yecky yeck.
and started a conversation about competition.
gee.
it's my all time favourite topic.
all he knows is to rant rant rant.
and speak ill of my friends.
cos' he thinks he has like the greatest friends ever.
doesn't mean he has friends that are doctors and lawyers and well known people of high positions, doesn't mean i have to have friends like that too right?
i'm abit young there, daddy.
maybe i have friends whose fathers are like that.
doesn't that sound delicious to you then.
urh.
and if you wish to have your little low expectations of me then be my guest.
it's not say i give a flying.
what matters to me is how i wanna live my life and what i plan to do.
i don't need you to help me decide or be some kinda mediator.
that's the last thing i'd ever want.
last but not least, what pisses me off even more is that you expect me to excel in every single thing.
like you know for yourself that people have flaws and no one is perfect.
but why do you want me to be so god damn perfect for you.
sheesh it.
let me tell you now mister, i can't wait till morning comes, when you're little alarm clock goes off and you have to get ready for work.
cos' thats the time i can get some god damn peace in this house.
so i don't need to hear any more of your little interesting topics or just wiggle my fingers listening to yet another pep talk of yours.
nights.

12:24:00 AM

her point of view;

Sunday, November 16, 2003

i'm starved.
i'm aching at my legs.
i'm abby at my tummy.
i'm suffering from cramps at my cheeks.
all becos' of mohammed jan solihn bin donyada.

12:31:00 AM

her point of view;

Friday, November 14, 2003

urgh.
my shampoo ran outta order.
and i'm left with herbal essense.
gee.
boy, do i want botanical shine.
the bees are just gonna fly around me.
i smell totally of flowers when i get outta the shower.
though it's quite soothing.
this is just plain unacceptable.
butt hell.
smelly welly!

everina` i've been a terribly bad friend. indeed your fasting and i must adhere to it. but sorry. food just gets me. and you know that. but it's you. the major sinner. don't follow me and eat. it's getting abit influential. hehs :) i'm all good with whatever outcome that hits me. it's all life. ups and downs. but remember. you're my date for x'mas.

hayley` come home sweet hay maiden. i'm dearly missing you. and now this very moment, i'm forced to go out with natalie. yes yes natalie lim. gee. quick. rushh home my wonderwoman.

mirdat` i swear you are a major poo poo. hahas :) thanks for writing about me in your blog. my name was just go gleefully bright. and hey, i'm not a retard. frankfurts or long juicy fries? anywyas. i want a x'mas present. and if i don't get one, i'm gonna cry ): tkcare!

2:04:00 PM

her point of view;

Thursday, November 13, 2003

ta-dah!
i've added new snaps.
you could link yourself through //angels with dirty faces.
if you seemingly can't get it, it's at the bottom of the page.
where the two scrolls are.
it would have to be the bottom one.
simple as that.
enjoy.

1:27:00 PM

her point of view;

i've finally found something to do during this boring hollie.
tennis lessons.
how awkard.
imagine me, holding a racket.
how unsightly could it get huh.
arh well.
mitchell fan jing chien has adoringly decided to adopt me as a honest learner.
yupp yupps.
i still can't imagine myself getting him to teach me.
lols.
it's gonna be so difficult to least pay attention.
gonna try my utmost best.
wish me luck.

1:02:00 AM

her point of view;

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

curiousity didn't kill the cat.
no no.
it totally didn't.
think about it.
it made the kittens.
so don't get so curious.

12:58:00 AM

her point of view;

Monday, November 10, 2003

be in my shoes for a day.
walk with me through my life today.
and all you will feel right now is uncertainty.
yes, weird ain't it?
but that's just the god damn feeling i feel right now.
not sure whether i'd have a positive mind to think that way.
or maybe i'm just day-dreaming.
whatever or however i feel, i hope it clears up.
i can't stand this feeling.
overpowering.
just need to get it away.
to be good or to be bad?
is it all planned.
just make it happen and see me out of my uncertainty.

uncertainty

10:18:00 PM

her point of view;

life is fulla uncertainty.
time will decide.

12:31:00 AM

her point of view;

Sunday, November 09, 2003

my lifestory for today begins like this.

get a load of me, get a load of you
walkin' down the street, and i hardly know you
it's just like we were meant to be

holding hands with you, and we're out at night
got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right
and i've got someone waiting too

but this just the beginning
we're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming

why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you
it's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
so tell me
why can't I breathe whenever i think about you

isn't this the best part of breakin' up
finding someone else you can't get enough of
someone who wants to be with you too

it's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
but wouldn't it be beautiful

here we go, we're at the beginning
we haven't fucked yet, but my head’s spinning

why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you
it's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
so tell me
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you

high enough for you to make me wonder
where it's goin'
high enough for you to pull me under
somethin's growin'
out of this that we can't control
baby i am dyin'

why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you

why can't i breathe whenever i think about you
why can't i speak whenever i talk about you
it's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
so tell me
why can't i breathe whenever i think about you

12:15:00 AM

her point of view;

Friday, November 07, 2003

this is not a great day for many.
:: rina :: was just dead bored at home trying to tolerate everyone in her house.
and i'm sure it's pretty difficult for her too.
she's a food craving girl and the fact that she's fasting, she is probably feeling oh so stressed.
:: hayley :: maybe you guys should look deep into this problem and see where you guys can fix it.
it's not that it's one year wasted.
think about it little one.
it's a whole year.
i'm sure you're not gonna put it to waste are you?
mend it.
i'm really wanting to see you two back together.
i can't bare the thought of the emptiness between you two.
and deeep deeep deeeep down inside, i know you are just yearning to put on those pair of pretty earrings that he gave you.
not the fact that it's a really pretty pair, but it's by evan?
i'm bad at consolling.
:: faezah :: this is just one helluva bad muslim.
okays.
maybe you break fast accidentally at a time which is not supposed to.
forgiven.
just don't be careless again.
but you commit yourself into eating more.
not just once.
but for the whole week.
allah is gonna deal with you personally.
big time too.
and my fbt shorts.
i'm dying to put my legs through it.
:: dees :: i'm just waiting to kill you.
slowly.
and feel you feeling the pain.
muahaha.
:: as for myself :: i'm prettty excited to attend my confirmation this sunday.
got all that i need to wear.
just that i'm missing my tube top.
gonna get it tmr from zara.
provided it's cheap.
lols.
could i continue tmr?
i'm shacked.
ta.

11:45:00 PM

her point of view;

Thursday, November 06, 2003

my accomplishment for today was: tan.
not much of a browny goldish tan that i expectted.
but good nuff'.
char came over with her horny brother.
we all played catching like freaks.
running around the pool screaming and screaching.
just so corny.
then then then i headed to ikea.
to meet my princessy sister for dinner.
and of all things to ear, burgerking was it.
like umpteen times i've been eating that for the past few days.
arh well.
had my fill.
it's been awhile since me and my sister had a peaceful talk.
we're usually yecking and wacking each other.
and and and i want this bed from ikea.
its so god damn gorgeous!
i just need it .
want it.
must have it.
and it's not too costly.
yeck yeck yeck.
hadd a conference call with leo and matt today.
and gosh is matt so darn cute.
he is this really small little fella.
pretty on the noisyy and nosey end.
the way he puts you on the spot, is so darn cute.
with all this honky language and stuff, it's just darn adorable.
made me laugh a whole lot.
he has just endless things to say.
i've got abs now on my tummy after that whole phone call.
hahas.
urh urh urh.
gonna conference again.
laters aligator.

so long ago
i didn't have a care about me
i didn't know my right from wrong
but now i know
that you left got love around me
you know it makes me feel so strong
baby if you turn around
and prove to me its real
maybe we can work it out
cos this is how i feel

do you know where you go when you give it all away
i'll be there for you, care for you
love you everyday oh baby
and do you feel the same for me?
everyday you're away
and i feel a little low
i would cry for you, die for you
just to let you know oh baby
and if you come to me you know i'll make it right

through out all my life
i never thought i'd have somebody
someone to call my own
and now i've found
a little bit of heaven baby
a place to call my own

baby if you turn around
and prove to me its real
maybe we can work it out
cos this is how i feel

hey there dont you know
you gotta slow down before you know
you gonna break down and turn around
before you know, you go and break my heart
when will you learn to be
a little helpful when you think of me
a little careful when you're close to me
cos baby i loved you from the start

11:04:00 AM

her point of view;

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

this is so darn amusing.
i was just talking to faezah and we were just yecking about those promotees and retainees of the class.
so our main topic was on anitha.
yes yes, anitha.
now basically, she's one of the retainees.
let's speak a little of her background.
she's always not attending school.
if not, she's always be late for school, without fail.
half the time, you don't see her around, cos' she's never there.
she's like transparent.
next, i don't think she's quite done alot of work for this year.
so lesson learnt.0
she got retained.
i mean there's nothing wrong with it.
just that it is a real life lesson learnt and to deal with it.
i'm guessing she kinda decided to get out of her present school and shift to another.
which is a neighbourhood school.
and surprisingly, she got into the express stream.
how on earth could that happen.
with her punctuality and attendance and so on.
so faezah has asked everyone of us, to shift out.
yes yes.
wouldn't that be better.
we would all be in the gifted course.
lols.
i'm mean.
nuff' said aye.
bleahs.

jan. this is totally for you. harhar. it's your horoscope.

jan is a scorpio.
(Also known as "Scorpion")
his Horroscope starts like this:
" Scorpios are highly dangerous, even at a distance. They cheat and lie, live for intrigue, and take pleasure in destroying. " (Read more | Find yours)

1:12:00 PM

her point of view;

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

You are a LOONY!!! 'nuff said!

What sort of weirdo are you? (with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

You are a sensual kiss

Sensual - Your kisses are meaningful and intimate.
They are gentle and leave your partner wanting
more and more. Your kisses are just plain sweet
and sugar-coated.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i'm gonna break up today's entry into two parts.
mainly the early morning section and the later part of the day section.

early morning went like this . .
got up really early and rushed to school.
collection of darn report books.
didn't go so well though.
but i'd like some rewards?
jan, any offers?
chuckles*.
so me and hayls got home and got all changed and headed back to town.

later part of the day started like this . .
so we walked around town as usual.
aimlessly.
surprisingly, evan was too lazy to get up aye?
so it was just me and hayley and the little goat, jan, who tagged along after.
yeah i was really boring.
didn't much entertain that fella.
hayley left us to go meet evan.
which kinda left me with that 'gendeng'.
he didn't make me feel any better.
i mean he's just out there to make you feel more guilty then ever.
guessed we pretty much walked around.
in kinokuniya.
but hey, i'm pretty much getting used to him.
alrights.
i'm done for.

jan: heys. thanx so much for today. i mean i didn't really entertain you and stuff. but you were one real joker that really cheered me up. lols. i'll promise i'll plan something next time. hahas. but kinda think of it, you were pretty mean to me today. but hey, i'm getting used to you. alrights.
till then, my pool partner.

8:56:00 PM

her point of view;

this is for monday's entry.

1. got up really late.
like early afternoon or so.
2. to my horror, there was no lunch!
so i pretty much starved.
3. got myself preoccupied by nagging at leonard on the phone.
and pretty much just linking myself around in friendster.
4. rushed outta the house to meet my sweetcakes.
we like rushedd so hard to get to media corp.
reason being to support shu yu in some competition
amongst weird girls to take the position of albert's girlfriend
or something like that.
i just totally didnt' understand anything.
so don't bother.
but she looked really great!
the rest of the girls just looked so shacked.
6. headed to serene centre for dinner.
laughed like madd there.
lawrence joined us at the later part.
7. got home.
playing pool with jan nows.
and he is so getting all my credit.
it's so frustrating.
makes me feel so lazy after a few games.
8. and the reason why i'm typing in this manner, is because
i'm just gonna sum up my days plan in different numbers.
9. and now, i'm gonna sleep.
rest your eyes and take a nap.

12:39:00 AM

her point of view;

Sunday, November 02, 2003

yupps it's a sunday.
how else fun can it get?
slept early the night before.
and i totally missed my show.
meet my folks.
todays jan's birthday, officially.
lols.
hope he is having 'fun' out nows.
played pool with him in the morning and it totally sucked.
i kept losing yet winning.
and every mistake i made, let him get the credit.
this pool gaming is getting pretty daily.
and i'm so not making any improvement.
today is gonna be totally off!
had to go for some church rehearsal for my upcoming confirmation.
my mum and future god mommy tagged along.
so i felt pretty old around them.
but afterall, it was only for a short period of time.
something like half an hour or so only.
and my dear hayls didn't attend so it felt so so so lonely.
i'm like chatting with leonard now.
and he is sure one irritating bull.
being irritating as usual.
bleahs.
alrighty.
i'll continue tonight.
smuacks.

everina: hey girl. it's alright you couldn't go out with me. hahahs :) anyways i saw lutfi bin yakult yesterday. so shocking. didn't wannaa actually see him but too bad he popped right in front of me. lols. eric too. made me follow him to go perfume shopping. he is so filthy rich. he may look like some poor fella but he sure isn't. after all the fuss, he bought mont blanc. lols.

hayley: hey fur paws. anyways ring my buzz me for the info on next weeks so called fun event. i missed out abit though.
wasn't paying much attention. lols. practically sleeping through it. but hey all i know is that you're sitting right behind me. groove on.

jan: janster goat. happyy birthday, officially. and thank you gazillions for being such a kind goat and not letting me thrash you at pool. wait till i get pro at it. i'll be stepping all over you. mehhh*. feeds you some grass.

i'm afraid that when u're heartbroken.
there'll be no one to dry ur tears.
don't leave my side.
only with u around would my world be complete.

3:17:00 PM

her point of view;

Saturday, November 01, 2003

today was total pinch nose day.
everyone just kept coming right at my nose.
darn i know it's nice alright.
but please.
spare my nose the horror of your fingers getting all over!
lols :)
it's jan's birthday in one and a half hours time.
and i'm getting pretty shacked to write up todays' entry.
so that's all for today.

jan: hey little goat. happyy birthdayy alright. now your not the same age as me anymore :) though it lasted good for awhile. seventeen is pretty old. well to me it is. sounds so odd. rather be sweet sixteen, just like me. thanks so much for the company for the pass few days. and i'm real sorry for turning down your offer on playing pool. i'm just a total sucker at it. you should know that, but perhaps when you do get the patience and tolerance, then you can decide teaching me a few stuff alright.
smuacks smuacks smuacks!

10:33:00 PM

her point of view;