Monday, January 31, 2005
__________________________________________________________________________________
the weekend was tough.
misconceptions and misunderstandings and assumptions, what could get any better?
i could hardly believe what i had heard, really.
it seemed so much like a fraud and for a second, i thought i was being swindled and hoaxed.
then again, it wasn't.
the sadness shouldered the anger.
WHY?
i question myself and YOU.
someone answer me;
do we just simply trust in an instant or do we have to earn that trust?
so after a gazillion hours of delay/cry/talk, we've settled half of it for now.
they say: 'actions speak louder than words'
sidelined, i have to shove aside my uptightness and yes, your most talked aboout word 'understand'.
i'm trying my utmost, so be patient with me.
on a brighter and lighter note, i appreciate you coming all the way ffrom school even if it had you to leave your schoolwork to come and settle OUR wrong-doings.
I'M CONTENTED.
thankyouveryveryverymuch.
now on my top priority, communication :)
_____________________________________________________________________________________
saturday was pain; be it emotionally or physically.
emotionally, i'm settled slight.
physically, i'm nearing.
i got my mermaid tattoo covered up by a better one.
from my fuggly looking mermaid to a well covered pink and black unicorn.
in MY opinion, it's neat :)
i'm guessing wednesday, it's one more trip to the tattoo parlour for a few pink and black stars and i'll be satisfied.
in fact, i was thinking stars on my right feet but it'll be hell if my mother sees another one.
i'm amazed she noddingly allowed for the mermaid in the first place.
OH HELL, my mum's understanding and waywayway too cool for you.
in an hour or so, i'd have my new bed moved to my place and fixed up :)
[it's dee's old bed; she's moving out so charity it is]
I <3 YOU DEEE.
4:04:00 PM
her point of view;
Sunday, January 30, 2005
you called to say you wanted out
well, I can't say I blame you now
sometimes you've got to fold
before you're found out
well thanks for waiting this long
to show yourself
cause now that I can see you
I don't think you're worth a second glance
so much for all the promises you made,
they served you well
now you're gone and they're wasted on me
so much for your endearing sense of charm
it served you well
now it's gone and you wasted it on me
11:39:00 AM
her point of view;
Friday, January 28, 2005
jocelyn;
wrong guess, it isn't alicia i was directing it to.
and on note, this is a temporary layout till i find the better:)
and if you're wondering, tag board's on your right column.
"your feminist discussions; click to tag"
nuff' said.
5:15:00 PM
her point of view;
Sunday, January 23, 2005
afternoon;
rushed to gab's house in PE shorts and a largee tee wondering if that whore turned up at his house.
apparently not.
he wasn't suppose to know i'd be there searching for her but surprisingly/coincidentally, he saw me.
frights of our lives we had.
followed by a little uptightness and then it all simmered down.
i seriously couldn't help but laugh at his annoyance and parroting what hayley was reminding me.
LOL :)
evening;
we trained down to sentosa.
caught three songs at a gig and some visiting rachel at the tanjong beach toilet.
how spunky :)
late evening;]
hayl and i travelled the highways to woodlands.
be it PIE, CTE, BKE and the roads go on.
night;
pasir panjang to meet the JOL for supper.
we headed togets by the 'small one'.
and only to discover that the prata shop was closed.
so it ended up nasi lemak, a long walk home, rum and rasin icecream, tim tam biscuits, mtv, friendster-ing, talking and just private jokes.
I MISS YOU; jol.
late night;
we drove into sentosa.
late night beach walks.
abusing.
piggy-backed each other.
and scared the wits outta each.
HEH :)
3:51:00 PM
her point of view;
Sunday, January 16, 2005
sometimes I get emotional
sometimes I do some stupid things
sometimes I say what I should just keep inside
sometimes I'm sad, about everything
sometimes I'm mad, and break some things
sorry times ten, but you just got in the way
don't give up no, running away
I won't hurt you
sometimes I'm just a pain
and that's the way it is
that's just the way I am
sometimes I feel like crying
laying down and dying
that's when I need you
laughing's always easy
but sometimes I'm just scared you'll leave me
that's when I feel,
emotional
you say I'm just, impossible
totally, unpredictable
I'm just a girl, get used to it
no big deal
you can't change me
why would you try
I'm no angel, but I can make you smile
and that's the way it is
and that's just the way I am
friggin' emotional.
4:38:00 PM
her point of view;
Friday, January 14, 2005
i feel unearthly :|
i have the urge to sit straight at my study table and mug.
but i'm unsure which subject to begin with or what topic to revise through first.
i've countless topics/subjects to choose from but i'm being hell undecisive.
so i've come to my conclusion; i am not picking anything up today.
it's friday and i should be relaxing in comfort.
monday i'll begin my quest to mugmugmug at my hardest.
it's play time with bunny :)
5:50:00 PM
her point of view;
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
this is by far the most fruitful week of the month :)
putting aside the unhealthy days i had last week which ended me up in a hospital bed and getting dripped.
early in the week, mummy and i got myself an angora rabbit.
a black and white one; and nothing can explain how right her black spots are on her furry body.
[i'd probably post up snapshots later in the week]
so school's been hectic.
assignments to be 'rapidly' completed due to the short length of time till it dues.
every wednesday in the week is left aside for the after-school chinese classes at acs(barker).
and yes, i hate the difficulty in travelling back and forth but the classes are pretty amazing/shocking/easy and the people are far interesting and weird.
there's the teacher who pronounces rugby as LUBBY and heathly as HELL.
not forgetting sam [also known to hayl as sexy sam] who's far from sexy but an exact example of unearthly.
so here's what he shouted in class to a typical looking ah-beng who was making fun of him: 'stop that funny pants of yours'
to me and maybe the rest, it was hillarious.
how often, or when, do you ever three quarters of guys in a class?
pardon me but we're an all girl school and suddenly, we're taking chinese lessons in an all boy-school.
even the toilets are not very girl-friendly.
moving along, i've 7 relationship resolutions for the new year.
random; but pretty constructive and useful.
#1
i will only have eyes for him; not breaking it by flirting with other people.
#2
we will spend more time together; not breaking it by abandoning each other.
#3
we will stop arguing; not breaking it by fighting for what you believe in.
#4
i will not be so clingy and needy; not breaking it by asking for what you really want.
#5 we will socialise more as a couple; not breaking it up by becoming anti-socials.
#6 we will save money; not breaking it by spoiling him.
#7 we will be more grown up and responsible; not breaking it by changing your routine.
8:42:00 PM
her point of view;
Thursday, January 06, 2005
from a slight fever that occured on wednesday night, i had no idea i would be hospitalized the following night for what we (myself, parents and 3 doctors) thought was an acute appendicitis.
appendicitis: inflammation of the appendix of the intestine.
appendix: a small tube of tissue that forms an outgrowth of the intestine.
for me, it was shock and pain.
i could hardly keep myself up.
the pain was overpowering and i was flat on the floor screaming and tearing.
so off it was to the emergency department of NUH where i waited with my appendix of 1 hour before consultation.
so i got admitted and it wasn't sure till when; maybe till i was observed well and when they could tell what i was suffering from.
it wasn't a well night spent.
i only settled down pass 3 and that didn't count the wait for the blood test and preparing the drip; that all came at 3:40 am.
i was put on a deionized glucose bag to ensure i wouldn't get dehydrated as i was not allowed eating till the following afternoon.
i 'slept' straight/cold/lonely/in pain/numbed/with a needle up my hand/terrorised by the thought that i might have to go in to surgery the next morning.
doctors were crowding around my bed, pressing my tummy, asking questions and writing down notes.
i felt . . . frightened.
to sum it up, they couldn't come up to any conclusion.
they are unsure of what it is medically; they assume it's my intestines.
it'll be checkups for now and 5 days medical leave.
IF this acute pain occurs again, it's no say but into the operating room to dish out my appendix for supper.
9:37:00 PM
her point of view;
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
my nails broke.
MAJOR DISASTER.
i'm in no mood whatsoever to blog :(
and if you're asking, school turned out fuunkyfresh and supersonic on monday.
but as the week passes through and the pressure and tension is on, it's getting all draggy.
i want the vacations or least get outta this school already.
it's high time i started getting rid of the carbs in my diet, burning off the fat and getting ample sleep.
love is always
patient and kind . it is never jealous . love is never
boastful nor conceited . it is never rude or selfish it does not take offense and is not
resentful . love takes no pleasure in other people's sins; but delights
in the truth it is always ready to excuse to trust to hope and to endure whatever comes.
this is love.
1:52:00 PM
her point of view;
Sunday, January 02, 2005
happyyyy phuckingggfantabuloussss
nnnneeww yearrrr
<3,
!euqinimod
3:54:00 PM
her point of view;
